Friday, December 15, 2006

It's Three Days Later...


... and little has changed. I'm still feeling older than I want to be. I'm stiff and sore - and I feel like I need to get some exercise today -- but my body is complaining.

I used to have great ideas for things to write about. I used to imagine how I would write about events that were happening to me - while the events were happening to me. I imagined myself an expressive and creative writer; an untapped talent.

I thought the experiences of raising children, surviving crushing debt and overcoming oppression at work while helping others would give me plenty of stimulus to write passionate tomes about human truths. I didn't think I had to practice my craft like I once did, because the present experiences were the fuel for future writing. "Later," I said, "I'll have so much life experience under my belt that precious texts would pour from my head... later."

Later has come and gone. Now I'm tired and dull. I drink too much. I've gotten paunchy and lazy. I merely exist uninspired day to day. I work only as much as I need to to get paid. My children are older - in High School and College. They don't need me like they used to.

This sounds depressing and whiney -- and it is -- but I'm trying to kick-start this post.

I'll get cheerful later.

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